Last Updated on August 30, 2013
Okay…I’m gonna get a bit spiritual. I hope you don’t mind. My single mommy self just simply can’t survive without Jesus. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but my days just seem to go better when I pray about things. I’m kinder, gentler, wiser, and more patient when I spend time reading the Bible.
But there is just so much to do. I’m often jumping out of bed – well, maybe sliding slowly with deep reservation would be more accurate – taking on my day with nary a thought about God. I do remember to pray things like, “Lord, please help me find Lizzie’s shoes in the next minute.” “Father, could you please make all the lights green?” “Oh God, forgive me for yelling at my kids.” “Lord, is there any way I could complete my to-do list today – or even one thing on it?”
It’s so easy to make this life about getting things done. I do the “gitterdone” mentality real well. I don’t have time to sit down and pray. I don’t have time to read the Bible with my kids. We have to “go, Go, GO!!!”
At night, when I have a moment to evaluate the day, I’m always disappointed. Always. I let at least one of my children down. I acted like a brat to someone. I didn’t make a superb or even healthy, nutritious and enjoyable meal for my kids. There are still 4 loads of laundry to trip over in the hall. There are still papers to be looked at, signed and filed. There are people I forgot to call back, appointments I should have made months ago and deadlines I missed because I can’t keep track of anything!! Those are my nightly taunts to myself. I’ve once again tried to do it all myself – tried to look like I’m the single mom extraordinaire. Not.
There are going to be days when things fall apart. Most days are going to have their disappointments – unless I go to bed at noon and that’s still plenty of time for masses of mistakes. I know God can but doesn’t always choose to make the day go smoothly. What I’m learning is that it’s where I find my identity – where I find my strength, my perspective and my hope. Is my strength from the gym? Nope. Is my perspective from the world – that my home and self should be beautiful, calm and productive? Nope. Is my hope in the dream that eventually I will get it all done in a timely and lovely manner? Nope. My hope is simply and completely in Christ.
Maybe tonight at dinner, I’ll read a passage of scripture with my children. Maybe tomorrow before I drag my weary, sleep-deprived self out of bed, I’ll take a moment to pray. Maybe I’ll find a moment to read something for myself as well. If I believe that it will really help, and I do, I’ve gotta turn my maybes into realities. So sweet sisters, whether you’re single mommies or not, let’s do something great for our kids and spend some time with the Lord today.
Sue Birdseye is an author and communicator who shares the adventures she has on her unexpected journey of single parenting. She went from the typical “picket fence” kind of life to being a single mom to five beautiful children. She has learned what it means to be totally dependent upon the Lord and how beautiful that dependence is. Her change of life circumstances has led to a passionate desire to encourage and bless other moms no matter their life circumstances. She has been active in her community as a foster/adoptive mom and public school teacher. She has also been part of her church’s worship, discipleship, women’s, and children’s ministries. She is an avid book reader, a game night hoster, and an early morning writer. Her book “When Happily Ever After Shatters” is the story of how God stepped into her life and the lives of her children just when everything seemed to be falling apart. She hopes that her writing will encourage, bless, and maybe even make someone smile.
This is a really beautiful post; thank you for being so transparent. I think every mom- single or not- can relate to feeling like they’ve fallen short of where they want to be, and needing God to step in and help. As the daughter of a single mom, I don’t remember most of the things that she didn’t do, but I remember a lot of the wonderful things she did.
Thank you so much for encouraging me. What a blessing to be think that my children might remember my good stuff more than my bad! Definitely gonna pray that prayer! Thank you again!
Sue,
THANK YOU for putting into words what I feel everyday! You have 5 wonderful children, I cannot wrap my mind around your days…I have 1 very spirited little girl and I love her with all my heart. I do believe my days go smoother when I start with God, but…I find myself at the end of my day feeling just exactly what you wrote. Why is it I can find time to do so many “must do” things but I don’t find time to be with Jesus? I will purpose in my heart to change that today:) Thank you again for your words, God was speaking through you just for me this morning. Be blessed today.
Michelle
Thank you for your sweet words and for understanding – we will be purposing our hearts together to focus on Jesus more and circumstances less! Blessings!
Thank you for sharing your days. I feel your anxiety and your joy. I’m a homeschooling parent, home-maker, blogger, and author, trying to get it all done in a day without enough hours. I have pretty much set myself up to fail, but only in my own mind. With God always first, I can see to the priorities. The rest…well…there’s always tomorrow…God willing.
You are so right – don’t we always do that – set ourselves up for failure? I can’t tell you how often my daily to do list is unrealistic even if I had a week to accomplish it! God is good – as a friend recently said, “He rearranges our to do lists!” Thank you for your encouragement!
Well spoken words of truth. I struggle to squeeze Jesus into my days and into the days of my children and then punish myself for not being enough for them. We single moms can do it. We just have to find the God-spots in the day. This morning, I told my two toddler boys how Jesus stands beside them all day long. I’m finding that in showing them, I’m experiencing too.
What a beautiful way to say it! Jesus standing beside us all day long! I love it! Thank you so much for your encouragement and for sharing!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Time with God is so important for our kids and for us. It is hard to make it fit into our crazy mom days sometimes, but I know that God will help me refresh my soul in Him if that is truly the desire of my heart. I agree with Shannon about the “God spots” in the day. I find myself noticing when there is a moment to teach my daughter about love or God (and the kids I baby sit for also) and we also read the Bible together as a family before bed. Sometimes that time with them is refreshing for ME too- even if we are reading out of the children’s Bible. Blessings to you and thanks for sharing! We have all felt too disconnected from our source of strength and peace at times!
Thank you for sharing your story with the rest of us. It is such a comfort to know, to hear that I’m not the only one. And I only have TWO kids to be a single-mom to! Blessings to you and your children.