1. Thanks for doing that. It means a lot to me when you serve me in little ways like that.
2. I am such a different woman because of the way you _____ (love me, gently lead me, make me feel secure, etc.).
3. I know you and I haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye lately. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I’m committed to working on our relationship so we both feel understood and secure.
4. I have not a bit of a headache tonight. Interested?
5. I can’t believe how _____ you are. You are so clearly gifted in that area.
6. I’m seeing lately that you may not feel very _____, but I hope you know I still respect you deeply.
7. Let’s clear the calendar and get outta Dodge together.
8. The way you _____ is such a good complement to me. God knew what I needed when He gave me you.
9. You are my best friend.
10. I am more in love with you than ever.
11. I want to go out with you. Are you free _____ night?
12. No matter how royally you mess up, I’ll always be glad you’re mine, I’ll forgive you, and I’ll love your socks off.
13. I remember when I _____. I felt really _____. I don’t know if that’s like what you’re going through, but either way, I want to be there for you.
14. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me for _____?
15. I saw this and knew it would look great on you.
16. I’m proud of you. That takes an incredible amount of courage/humility/forethought, etc.
17. I got you this, just because.
18. I forgive you. And I won’t bring this up again, okay?
19. Got a minute? There’s something I want to show you in the bedroom.
20. Lately I’ve really seen you grow in the area of _____, like when you _____.
21. You’re right.
22. I hope it’s okay; I tackled _____ from your to-do list today. I know it’s been hanging over your head.
23. Got your favorite snack at the grocery store!
24. I admire you in _____. In fact, I could learn a lot from you in that area.
25. I trust you.
26. Go ahead and sleep in tomorrow.
27. I had no idea you could do that! You continue to impress me.
28. What do you think?
29. Can I give you a massage?
30. To the kids: I love your dad so much. He is so _____.
31. I love being around you.
32. I got a babysitter tonight!
33. I think you have so much to offer, and I can see it in the ways you _____.
34. I’m so glad you’re home.
35. I saw this at the store, and it made me think of you.
36. Thank you!
37. I love doing _____ with you.
38. I stayed within the budget this month!
39. You are one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. I am so humbled God gave me you.
40. You and me this evening: Game on.
41. I feel so proud when I’m with you.
42. Mind if I hold your hand?
43. I made your favorite _____.
44. Yeowzas. That looks great on you.
45. You are so well-disciplined in _____.
46. Do you feel like I’m understanding you?
47. You handled that incredibly well.
48. What would sound great for dinner tonight?
49. Let’s put the kids to bed early.
50. If there were one thing you could change about me as your wife, what would it be?
51. You have some real gifts in the area of _____.
52. I got tickets!
53. Why don’t you take the night off? I’ve got the kids.
54. It is so cool to watch the man you’ve become even since we’ve been married.
55. Just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you.
56. I got the car washed and serviced today, hoping it would just take a little of the load off your plate.
57. I love it when you wear that.
58. You still take my breath away.
59. I miss you. Have a great time!
60. Our kids are so blessed to have a dad like you. I love the way you _____ them.
61. You make me so happy just by being you.
62. I love you so much.
One final note: Maybe you’re a woman who initiates a lot of love for your man, but tenderness is not often reciprocated. Maybe you’re reading this under the burden of a husband who doesn’t serve you or protect you or cherish you. We want to compassionately encourage you: Jesus gave without mutual gain, too—and that puts you in some pretty good company. We’re asking God to give you remarkable, gentle grace as you lift up your spouse in prayer, and as you meet everyday struggles against resentment and, in several cases, injustice. Our God is the God who sees (Genesis 21:15-21).
You Might Like:
• 30 Conversation Starters for Couples
• What Your Husband Really Needs
• 52 Things to Say to Make Your Child Feel Great
• 50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband
About Janel
Thank you for these ideas. I have been so tired lately from the kids and I really want to make my husband feel special. Words of affirmation is one of his top love languages and I sorely lack!
Thanks for the words to share.
These are great……I like a list I can go to, to find words that I may not have. This is what my hubby needs and I don’t know what to say often. Thank you for all the effort and time, heart and wisdom put into helping others. Examples you are and appreciated to maximum!
So grateful that you ladies are encouraged. Keep on
Great list. Thanks, Janel. There were quite a few on this list that made me stop and think- Hmmmm…. It’s been a while since I had something generally nice to say in that particular area.
Great reminder that the words we say have the power to build up or tear down our marriages. Good, good stuff.
Thanks, friend. I have a few of these that I need to revisit myself
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I saw this on Pinterest and I LOVE it!! Thanks so much for sharing it, I really needed to read it today. I just turned 44 and have been chronically ill for 5 years. The last two+ years I have been bedridden. My husband is my primary caregiver and an amazing, Godly man. He does everything he can for me and he never complains. Still, it all has been difficult on our relationship at times. When you are sick and feel VERY yucky most of the time, it is easy to have times when you decide to throw yourself a pity party but forget that you aren’t the only one whose life has been turned upside down.
I will most definitely be saving this great list and will do my best to put it to great use. Thanks again.
BLESSINGS~
Teresa, what a great perspective from what sounds like an incredibly hard reality. Wow. So thankful for this wisdom, and for a husband who’s been so faithful. Praying for you and your relationship right now.
I love love this. Any your words at the end really did speak to me. Thank you for reminding me of my role in this world, the person who God created and in the eyes of God, what my true worth is….how my simple words can be spoken of love…can truly change the lives of those I love!
Praying right now for you, Holli, and that God would continue to sing your worth over you (Zephaniah 3:17)! Praying you experience a particular power to love, hope, and be loved today.
Thank you for the word at the end of the list. I was married for almost 8 years to an abusive man and I did not realize just how much of my life he was trying to control -almost every area of my life (down to what light I used in the bathroom…)- until we separated 8 months ago and are now going through a divorce. There are several things on this list that I did so many times. I also was learning to stand up for myself and my children and that is when things got really bad because he did not like that I was not okay with with being treated wrong and was not going to just let it happen but I was going to let him know that it was not okay and give him a chance to make things right. …
I am so happy to hear that you were able to stand up for yourself and your children, Charity. It takes a strong woman to do leave someone she is so connected to. I hope you have had the chance to begin the healing process and move on to something bigger & better, whatever that may be. The Lord is faithful and He has great plans for you!
These are lovely words to speak to anyone in your life, including your partner. But I do hope that the closing words are not taken as encouragement to stay in abusive relationships, which are not a part of God’s plan for anyone.
http://itsabeautifulwreck.com/2010/12/be-contentious-woman/
Jessica, you are quite right. Living in an abusive situation is not God’s will for anyone’s life. And “Abusive behavior was never and can never be a part of God’s plan for a marriage or a family.” (Dennis Rainey) Please also see this article about how to respond to abuse: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/challenges/cultural-issues/responding-to-physical-abuse#.UUdLHxek0vw
I love your sight.I am a single Christian woman and waiting on the Boaz God has for me.I love the golden nuggets. Thanks for being used by God.
I was fine to read through this, have a laugh, maybe cringe a little until I got to the end and read the last paragraph which encourages women who are in unhappy (and possibly abusive?) relationships to repeat these phrases and “stick it out” because God sees everything(?) and Jesus suffered to.
***To actively encourage women who are trapped in emotionally, physically, sexually, or spiritually abusive/neglectful marriages to stay with their spouse is to passively allow abuse and violence to continue to infect our society*** To all women out there who are in a dangerous and abusive marriage, who *are* trapped by a husband who refuses to “serve you or protect you or cherish you,” (i.e. an abuser) I am telling you right now: this is your sign out. We can help you. God DOES see you and does *not* want you to suffer the way His Son did. God provides, and I encourage you to contact your local women’s shelter, and to take the first step towards a healthy and happy life.
Do not look to Jesus’s suffering and crucifixion as a sign that you can endure the abuse you are experiencing.
Hi Eloise, thank you so much for your comment. “Abusive behavior was never and can never be a part of God’s plan for a marriage or a family.” (Dennis Rainey) Living in an abusive situation is not God’s will for anyone’s life. Please see this article about how to respond to abuse: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/challenges/cultural-issues/responding-to-physical-abuse#.UUdLHxek0vw
Eloise: Thank you.
Thank you so much for this from the bottom of my heart. This could not have come at a better time.
Thankful with you, Loretta–God is good. Praying for you right now.
I don’t think that there was any intended condonement of abuse in any form. The last paragraph, in my reading of it, was an encouragement to speak words of kindness and love to your husband without expectation. If we are only affirming because we are first affirmed, then how sincere are our words. Likewise, if we are only complimenting in the hopes of being complimented back, then we need to reevaluate our motives. As women, we are often the heart of the home/family. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a wife’s verbal affirmations of her husband soften his heart to become more openly affectionate himself. Likewise, a wife’s failure to speak positively about her husband (especially in the presence of others) is a quick way to harden his heart.
Let’s not turn this helpful list into something it’s not.
Any links to words for men to speak to their wives?
Hi Michael! We’re mainly a site for moms so we tend to focus on women.
But FamilyLife has lots of good articles for husbands. Here are a few you might find helpful -
* http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/10-things-a-husband-can-say-when-his-wife-feels-overwhelmed-or-frustrated#.UU-afFeNCPw
* http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/10-questions-every-husband-should-ask-his-wife-annually#.UU-apVeNCPw
* http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/growing-spiritually/20-ways-to-pray-for-your-wife#.UU-atFeNCPw
* http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/40-things-husbands-should-stop-doing#.UU-ajFeNCPw
* http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/50-ways-to-inspire-your-wife#.UU-cq1eNCPw
Michael: yes. All of the above 1-62.
Great list! I like what you said at the end and wanted to add that often as we make an effort to compliment our husband to their faces and to others, we will find that they will also make changes in their behavior – some times intentional, sometimes not – but they will feel the effects of these words and be more likely to respond in kind
I love this, I think the reason some couples fail is because they don’t show each other their love either verbally, physically, or by their actions.
I could not have found this at a better time. My husband and I are currently separated but I know through Gods grace and mercy that’s his promises over my life and my family will be done. Gods promises might have a small delay but it is never changed. I’m seeing Gods work in my husband. We have been married almost 3 years and I feel I’m more in love with him now more than ever. I almost thought It would be wrong to say but I see its one on the list. I’ve been asking God to show me ways to appreciate him more and I found this on pinterest. We have 2 beautiful girls and sometimes we can get so wrapped up in mommy life that we forget about daddy. Thanks for these words of encouragement. They are truly a blessing.. God Bless.
Really?!? #53 would be something a man should say to the woman. Lol
I love these ideas. Especially #60. I really need to try some of these! thanks
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I am not somone who comments on blogs. But I felt inclined with this one first because of the ending statement and second because of the readers comments. There are some good ideas in this post, but you have to know the person you’re talking to before you try using them. Most of these wouldn’t really work for my hubby because of who he is and what makes him feel loved, and that’s okay. There were also some in there that i’m sure he’d like. If you’re trying to rekindle a flame or improve a relationship, First of all, try to breach the gap by getting to know him. do something with him that he likes to do. Ask him about the things he loves, become actually involved in who he is and what he is about. I did like how this list tried to touch on lots of different needs: ie words of affirmation, doing something for him, gift giving, etc. Everyone is different, so for me if my husband did the dishes it would be nice of him but wouldn’t help me feel loved. but if he gave me a hug and told me why he loved me then I’d be on cloud 9. He’s the opposite. If I make the bed or wash the car he feels that I love him more than ever, but if I bring him a gift, he’s appreciative but it doesn’t give him the feeling of being loved by me…(have you ever read the love languages book, or the color code book? they’re pretty helpful in understanding the personalities in your life). Improving a relationship is all about learing the needs of each other and working together to communicate your needs and wishes. And please women, you are in a relationship. That is a 2 way street. If you don’t feel loved, and are feeling neglected, that needs to be calmly communicated. It takes time but after calm loving communication things can get better. And if that other half is not interested in improving things, you don’t have to go through life feeling unloved and lonely while you give 100% the entire way. Divorce is not fun and nobody plans on it. In our relationship that is not an option, but that is because both of us are willing to try and both of us have made that comitment to eachother. It wasn’t always this way… We had some VERY steep hills to climb to get to that point. We still climb hills but we climb them together now. This is because of God and Jesus Christ. This is because after a lot of climbing in opposite directions, there was a blessing and a turning point in our lives. It didn’t happen all at once, but I can see that God’s hand was blessing our marriage helping us turn it around. Ask God to give you guidance and really listen to the answers. There is always a solution if you listen to God’s plan and not your own agenda and what you think is best. I was originally bothered by the ending statement because it did seem as though women were encouraged to stay in unhealthy relationships where the man was cold and unwilling to help improve the relationship. I can see from the comments that this may not be the case, but felt it important to clarify even though a few very passionate readers commented above. I do believe that it is important for a woman to be a helpmeet to her husband but also that she is an equal party in the relationship. It is okay and necessary to have balance and love in your life.
I’m pretty proud of myself on this. I say these things often. Some of them made me giggle, like the “I stayed in budget!” Since my husbands the spender in our relationship, it’d be something nice to here,
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Thanks for these!!! I love my hubby so very much that my heart overflows, but I never know what to say, so thank you!
And thank you for the sweet words at the end <3 Bless you!
Some of these are great, but some of these are rude and asking for trouble. As someone that is close to finishing a degree in psychology, some of these are just not what you say to your partner or ask your partner to answer. You want to make them feel good, speak from the heart. Here is one I think everyone should be careful with…what is something you would change about me? Just be mindful that there are thing you should not ask of your partner. We all have things that bug us or can rub us the wrong way, but to ask them to point it out can be hurtful to both in the end. Many of these are great and a great way to communicate, but please be mindful, you all know your SO better than anyone else, so you know what makes him happy. I know that I leave little notes on the mirror for my husband, so when he wakes up to get ready for PT in the am he finds it, or I write him a text message after he has gone to bed, so when he checks his phone in the am it is there for him. These things are not always about what is being said, but about how you tell them as well. Always neat to find out new ways to say things or make your SO feel loved, wanted, and so many other things. Best of luck to all of you and your SOs out there. Stay strong and live happy lives!
a true answer to prayer with your last comment today……needed this immensly! Thanks for sharing and keeping the faith!